I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday".
Anything above 40 is a little too old for me. I just look for a girl who is funny and has nice eyes and a smile.justin bieber
if a girl likes me a lotand starts getting real nervousand suddenly begins asking me funny questionsand looks sad if I give the wrong answersand she says things like,"Do you think it's going to rain?"and I say, "It beats me,"and she says, "Oh,"and looks a little sadat the clear blue California sky,I think: Thank God, it's you, baby, this time Instead of me.Richard Brautigan
When I left, Merle was wearing a bungalow apron and rolling pie-crust. She came to the door wiping her hands on the apron and kissed me on the mouth and began to cry and ran back into the house, leaving the doorway empty until her mother came into the space with a broad homely smile on her face to watch me drive away. I had a funny feeling as I saw the house disappear, as though I had written a poem and it was very good and I had lost it and would never remember it again.Raymond Chandler
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.adlai stevenson
I think Terrell will catch hell at the sound of the bell.He's going around saying that he's a championship-fighter,but when he meets me he fall 20 pound lighter.He thinks that he's the real heavy weight champbut when he meets me, he'll just be a trampNow I'm not sayin' just to be funny, but I'm fightin' Ernie because he needs the money.muhammad ali
Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so irritating.bill gates
On my mother's side I'm Polish-Jewish, and on my father's side I'm Scottish puffin.tamsin greig
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.will rogers
Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke....jacob m. appel
When people say it's a funny thing about them, you will probably be able to control your hysterics. They are only getting ready to announce the shattering fact that they don't like something. And it's not going to be something that's really quite awful, like suttee or apartheid; it's going to be something small.Peg Bracken
The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadn’t made every line funny. It’s so depressing."Quentin Crisp
Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction. ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it.jim gaffigan
She thought it was funny that people thought they were important.edie sedgwick
A wonderfully funny letter was sent to me signed by a fraternity in Boston, Massachusetts, U.S., medical school; the fraternity for doctors had voted me the body on which they would most like to operate.dyanne thorne
Tim Guest’s extraordinary account of his childhood in the communes of Bhagwan [Rajneesh], the notorious Indian guru, is a survivor’s tale, poignant, funny and wise.
A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
I got used to dealing with groups of boys and getting on with life in unpleasant circumstances and being smart and funny and subversive at the expense of authority.eric idle
I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most.john leguizamo
I'm a classic example of all humorists — only funny when I'm working.Peter Sellers
Those who delight in bad movies and enjoy producing their own unfilmed versions of Mystery Science Theater 3000 may gain a measure of semi-masochistic enjoyment out of Van Helsing . There are quite a few unintentionally funny moments, although the overall experience was too intensely painful for me to be able to advocate it as being "so bad, it's good."james berardinelli
The age-old faith of lovers and poets in the power of love, stronger than death, that Finis vitae sed non amoris , is a lie, useless and not even funny.stanisław lem
You have Mel Brooks and your Marx Brothers and your Larry David. So it's affected it enormously and really not at all. I don't think I've ever done anything comedically where the joke of it had to do with Judaism and Jewishness, but there's definitely a proud tradition of comedy in the Jews.Andy Samberg
Purple Haze, all in my brain, lately things just don't seem the same, actin' funny, but I don't know why, 'scuse me while I kiss the sky.