John Cleese Quotes

October 27, 1939

John Marwood Cleese (born 27 October 1939) is an English comedian and actor best known for being one of the members of the comedy group Monty Python and for co-writing the TV series Fawlty Towers in which he played Basil Fawlty.

My biggest regret? Not being knighted by the Queen. I should have been a knight, and I would have been knighted, if I hadn't written one horrible horrible Python sketch which I deeply deeply regret [ cue Python sketch: "Upper Class Twit of the Year" ]

From PBS series Monty Python's Personal Best: John Cleese's Personal Best (2006), playing role of senile old man.

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More John Cleese Quotes

I wish to complain about this parrot what I have purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

John Cleese
— 1968  As Mr Praline in the'Dead Parrot'sketch, Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Tags: wish, complain, parrot, what, purchased, half, hour, boutique

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Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.

John Cleese
— 1975  As Basil Fawlty in FawltyTowers,'The Germans'.

Tags: mention, war, mentioned, once, think, away

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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.

John Cleese
— 1993  In The Times.

Tags: Loving, neighbour, yourself, practically, bloody, impossible, You, commandment, shalt

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I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.

John Cleese
— From The Human Face, BBC Television (2001)

Tags: struck, laughter, connects, you, people, impossible, maintain, kind, distance

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Six hundred years ago we would have been burned for this. Now, what I'm suggesting is that we've advanced.

John Cleese
— Defending the film Life of Brian on BBC chat show Friday Night Saturday Morning (9 November 1979)

Tags: Six, hundred, years, we, been, burned, Now, what, suggesting

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Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.

John Cleese
— On Fresh Air with Terry Gross (1997)

Tags: Basil, Fawlty, easy, character, me, reason, portraying, mean, uptight

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He who laughs most, learns best.

John Cleese
— As quoted in Creating Emotionally Safe Schools: A Guide for Educators and Parents? (2001) by Jane Bluestein, p. 215

Tags: who, laughs, most, learns, best

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If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.

John Cleese
— As quoted in Best New Games (2002) by Dale N. LeFevre, p. 9

Tags: you, want, creative, workers, give, enough, time, play

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Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers which is why almost no technology ever works.

John Cleese
— BBC interview on Die Another Day (20 November 2002)]

Tags: Technology, frightens, me, death, designed, engineers, impress, other, instruction

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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

John Cleese
— As quoted in W.T.F.? : (What Is Wrong With Tom Faerie?)? (2006) by H. M. Leathem

Tags: God, intend, us, eat, animals, then, meat

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When you get to my age, and I'm 66 now, you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much.

John Cleese
— From Channel 4 documentary The Secret Life of Brian (2007)

Tags: When, you, age, now, world, madhouse, most, people, operating

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Because these people are operating at a very very low level of mental health, they are incapable of understanding the teaching.

John Cleese
— From Channel 4 documentary The Secret Life of Brian (2007)

Tags: people, operating, low, level, mental, health, incapable, understanding, teaching

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Aping Urbanity, Oozing with Vanity Plump as a Manatee, Faking Humanity Journalistic Calamity, Intellectual Inanity Fox News Insanity, You're a profanity Hannity

John Cleese
— "Ode To Sean Hannity", sent by Cleese to Keith Olbermann, and read publicly on Countdown with Keith Olbermann (8 August 2009)

Tags: Oozing, Vanity, Humanity, Journalistic, Calamity, Intellectual, Inanity, Fox, News

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