If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.
Deeper Thoughts : All New, All Crispy (1993) ISBN 1-56282-840-1
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.Jack Handey
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it.Jack Handey
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.Jack Handey
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate words — "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.Jack Handey
I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.Jack Handey
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.Jack Handey