You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Thanks to our brave allies: you gallant Russian bear, you British everywhere.Bob Hope
I was on the way to my hotel, and I passed a hotel going in the opposite direction.Bob Hope
I know I'm in England because this morning, my stomach got up two hours before I did and had a cup of tea! I've had so much tea, I slosh when I walk! You have to drink tea - I've tasted the coffee!Bob Hope
In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did.Bob Hope
You mean like Democrats?Bob Hope