"I'm doin' radio and there's a bag in front of me on the console that says 'Butt Stink' on it. Somethin' ain't right."
KFI-Los Angeles radio broadcast, January 28, 2001, 10:00 p.m. hour.
"Out came Ms. Hilton in a Juicy track suit, chattering away like a gibbon on her jewel-encrusted cell phone. It was like magic, if magic were like a extra-strength laxative."April Winchell
"Your body is a temple, whether you're a Jew or not."April Winchell
[Referring to actress Winona Ryder] "Get over it! Your 'wide-eyed, gamine, trembling chipmunk' thing! Get over it!"April Winchell
[Referring to the radio station program director]: "I'll get him to call me some day, even if it means spilling cheese all over my brassiere at KFI, by gawd."April Winchell
"We've talked about coffee enemas and they're perfectly fine, except the doughnuts get stuck in the hose. And that just ruins everything."April Winchell
"Look at you, turning on me like a Pomeranian!"April Winchell