Ass Quotes
More Ass Quotes
My name is Reggie. I'm about kickin' ass, I'm about takin' names, and we're about makin' games.
reggie fils-aime— Source: E³ 2004 Press Conference, [1]
If I'm an ass, I should say so. If I don't, somebody else will. If I say it first, that disarms them.
Charles Bukowski— Interview with Robert Wennersten (1974)
The man, who laugh'd but once to see an ass Mumbling to make the cross-grain'd thistles pass, Might laugh again to see a jury chaw The prickles of unpalatable law.
— Drydeti, The Medal.
He that is a traveller must have the back of an ass to bear all, atonguelikethetail ofa dog toflatterall, themouthof a hog to eat all what is set before him, the ear of a merchant to hear all and say nothing; and if this be not the highest step of thraldom, there is no liberty or freedom.
thomas nashe— 1594 The Unfortunate Traveller, or the Life of Jack Wilton.
The light is braying like an ass.
— 1923 Fa c° ade,'Long Steel Grass'.
The ass will carry his load, but not a double load; ride not a free horse to death.
Miguel de Cervantes— Ch. 71. (Part II (1615))
I am ashamed the law is such an ass.
George Chapman— Revenge for Honour (published posthumously, 1654), Act iii, scene 2. Although this was credited to Chapman, scholars have rejected the attribution; the play may have been written by Henry Glapthorne.
When I find out who stole it I'll take blood, ass and all!
patsy cline— In a letter to a friend about having her mink coat stolen at her record company's party
— Attributed from Remembering Patsy (1993 documentary film)
When my time on earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want they bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass.
bob knight— From a public address given by Knight at Indiana University. As reported by BBC Sports, Knight moves to Texas, by Kevin Asseo, 22 March, 2001. The quotation can be heard on "Bob Knight Sportscenter Top 10 Soundbites". The quotation may be attributed to a longer poem from a 1970's velvet blacklight poster, titled "My Critics RIP - Ross", that depicted a drawing of a man laying face down with lipstick covering his bare buttocks.
Silly ass. The land would be much more valuable today.
Princess Margaret— On being told that George III had given the Crown lands to Parliament in 1761 in return for a fixed allowance. As quoted in Andrew Duncan, The Reality of Monarchy, p. 181
"He's kicking such major ass that it's insane!"
megan mullally— On Tony Bennett
Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors.
hunter s. thompson— A note to his grandson, Will (2005), reprinted in "Outlaw Journalist : The Life and Times of Hunter S. Thompson" (2008), by William McKeen
There is at this moment a beetle the size of god's ass on the table about six inches from the t-writer. It is worse than anything Kafka ever dreamed, so big I can see its eyes and the hair on its legs — jesus, suddenly it leaped off and now circles me with a menacing whir.
hunter s. thompson— Letter to Paul Semonin (26 May 1962), p. 337
I believe that one can't command sitting on one's ass in the rear.One has to up among the forward brigade commanders, even as far as battalion commanders, especially if one is fighting a defensive action. One simply has to know what is going on.
christopher vokes— Italy, p. 182
Socrates, on being insulted in the marketplace, asked by a passerby, “Don’t you worry about being called names?” retorted, “Why? Do you think I should resent it if an ass had kicked me?”
Alain de Botton— p. 112 (Status Anxiety (2004))
An ass may bray a good while before he shakes the stars down.
george eliot— Romola (1863), Book III, Chapter XVII
Decide what you want, create a map, and get your ass out there!
steve maraboli— p. 131 (Life, the Truth, and Being Free (2010))
I suggest that US foreign policy can still be defined as "kiss my ass or I'll kick your head in." But of course it doesn't put it like that. It talks of "low intensity conflict..." What all this adds up to is a disease at the very centre of language, so that language becomes a permanent masquerade, a tapestry of lies.
Harold Pinter— "Oh, Superman", broadcast for Opinion, Channel 4, 31 May 1990; Various Voices: Prose, Poetry, Politics 1948-2005, rev. ed. (1998; London: Faber and Faber, 2005) 198-99.
I'm sorry, but anyone who thinks the use of an angelic (or seemingly angelic character), whose likes have been written about for, oh, about 4,000 years, is ripping off Star Trek, has his head so thoroughly up his ass as to have blipped into an entirely new intestinally-based reality and desperately needs to get a wider frame of reference.
j. michael straczynski— J. Michael Straczynski (1995-11-10). "Re: B5 rips off Trek Again! (T". rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5. (Google Groups). Retrieved on 2007-03-15.
He made his point well; but he made it too often. And an attack of that kind, personal and savage in its nature, loses its effect when it is evident that the words have been prepared. A good deal may be done in dispute by calling a man an ass or a knave, but the resolve to use the words should have been made only at the moment, and they should come hot from the heart.
Anthony Trollope— Ch. 33 (Phineas Redux (1874))
We're in the dark ages if J-Lo can have a music career because of her ass. And let's face it, that's it.
Jack Black— American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and singer
"My Name is Reggie . I'm about kicking ass and taking names -- and we're about making games ."
— Reggie Fils-Aime, E3 2004
All I gotta say about Elian is, thank God he's Cuban. 'Cause if he had been Haitian, you'd have never heard about his ass. If Elian Gonzalez was Elian Mumoombo from Haiti, they'd have pushed that little rubber tube back into the water. "Sorry, fella. All full."
— Dave Chappelle, Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly (2000).
It is hard to explain to people now how hard it was being a punk back then [the 1970s]. If you had short hair, didn't wear bell bottoms and walked down the street, chances are some asshole in an El Camino was going to kick your ass.
— Wolf, Mary Montgomery (2007). "We accept you, one of us?": Punk rock, community, and individualism in an uncertain era, 1974--1985. ProQuest. p. 226. ISBN 9780549325819.
He shall be buried with the burial of an ass.
— Jeremiah, XXII, 19. (Quotes)
We've all heard that little woman who says, "Oh, it's terrible what these young people do to themselves, in my lsi other drugs, is a terrible thing" Then you look, the woman who speaks in this way: you have no eyes, no teeth, no brains, no soul, no ass, no mouth, no warmth, no spirit, nothing, just a stick ... "and avran made ??you wonder how to reduce it in that state teas and pastries and the church.
— Charles Bukowski, "Tales of Ordinary Madness" (1972).
O, that he were here to write me down an ass! but, masters, remember, that I am an ass ; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.
— Dogberry, scene ii
" God is an iron," I said. "Did you know that?" I turned to look at her and she was staring. She laughed experimentally, stopped when I failed to join in. "And I'm a pair of pants with a hole scorched through the ass?" "If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron."
— Spider Robinson, in "God Is An Iron" (1977)
"The next person's phone I hear set to Vivaldi is going to need a hydraulic pump to pry their phone out of their ass."
— Ever wonder what your cell phone would sound like coming out of your ass?
