Ass Quotes 

My name is Reggie. I'm about kickin' ass, I'm about takin' names, and we're about makin' games.
Reggie Fils-aime
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More Ass Quotes 

Marry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass; so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself.

william shakespeare

— William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night (c. 1601-02), Act V, scene 1, line 19.

Tags: Marry, sir, praise, me, now, foes, tell, plainly, profit

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If I'm an ass, I should say so. If I don't, somebody else will. If I say it first, that disarms them.

Charles Bukowski

— Interview with Robert Wennersten (1974)

Tags: first, disarms

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The man, who laugh'd but once to see an ass Mumbling to make the cross-grain'd thistles pass, Might laugh again to see a jury chaw The prickles of unpalatable law.


— Drydeti, The Medal.

Tags: man, who, laugh'd, once, see, Mumbling, thistles, pass, laugh

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If thou wert the lion, the fox would beguile thee; if thou wert the lamb, the fox would eat thee; if thou wert the fox, the lion would suspect thee, when, peradventure, thou wert accused by the ass...

william shakespeare

— William Shakespeare, Timon of Athens, scene iii.

Tags: wert, lion, fox, beguile, lamb, eat, suspect, when, peradventure

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He that is a traveller must have the back of an ass to bear all, atonguelikethetail ofa dog toflatterall, themouthof a hog to eat all what is set before him, the ear of a merchant to hear all and say nothing; and if this be not the highest step of thraldom, there is no liberty or freedom.

thomas nashe

— 1594  The Unfortunate Traveller, or the Life of  Jack Wilton.

Tags: traveller, bear, ofa, dog, hog, eat, what, set, before

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The light is braying like an ass.


— 1923  Fa c° ade,'Long Steel Grass'.

Tags: light

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The trouble with our people is as soon as they got out of slavery they didn't want to give the white man nothing else.But the fact is, you got to give 'em something. Either your money, your land, your woman or your ass.


— 1985  Pa.The Color Purple.

Tags: trouble, our, people, soon, slavery, want, give, white, man

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I am ashamed the law is such an ass.

George Chapman

— Revenge for Honour (published posthumously, 1654), Act iii, scene 2. Although this was credited to Chapman, scholars have rejected the attribution; the play may have been written by Henry Glapthorne.

Tags: ashamed, law

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When I find out who stole it I'll take blood, ass and all!

patsy cline

— In a letter to a friend about having her mink coat stolen at her record company's party
— Attributed from Remembering Patsy (1993 documentary film)

Tags: When, find, who, stole, blood

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I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.


— Barry Goldwater July, 1981, in response to Falwell's opposition to the nomination of Sandra Day O'Connor to the Supreme Court, of which Falwell had said, "Every good Christian should be concerned"; quoted in Ed Magnuson, "The Brethren's First Sister," Time Magazine (1981-07-20)
— According to John Dean, Goldwater actually suggested that good Christians ought to kick Falwell in the "nuts", but the news media "changed the anatomical reference."Dean, John (2008). Broken Government: How Republican Rule Destroyed the Legislative, Executive, and Judicial Branches. Penguin Group. "I know because I was there when he said it." 

Tags: think, good, Christian, kick, Falwell, right

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"He's kicking such major ass that it's insane!"

megan mullally

— On Tony Bennett

Tags: kicking, major, insane

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Well, its not that bad. I thought she was going to show me a picture of uhhhh...an eagle on her ass or something.

ozzy osbourne

— The Osbournes television show

Tags: bad, thought, going, show, me, picture, eagle, something

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I believe that one can't command sitting on one's ass in the rear.One has to up among the forward brigade commanders, even as far as battalion commanders, especially if one is fighting a defensive action. One simply has to know what is going on.

christopher vokes

— Italy, p. 182

Tags: believe, one, can't, command, sitting, forward, brigade, commanders, far

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Get away from me fat man, or I'll spork your ass.


— TV show The Critic

Tags: away, me, fat, man, spork

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Freud 's fanciful pseudo-explanations (precisely because they are brilliant) perform a disservice. (Now any ass has these pictures available to use in "explaining" symptoms of an illness.

ludwig wittgenstein

— p. 55e (Culture and Value (1980))

Tags: Freud, fanciful, precisely, brilliant, perform, disservice, Now, pictures, available

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An ass may bray a good while before he shakes the stars down.

george eliot

— Romola (1863), Book III, Chapter XVII

Tags: may, bray, good, while, before, shakes, stars, down

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By outward show let's not be cheated; An ass should like an ass be treated.

john gay

— XI, "The Packhorse and Carrier".

Tags: outward, show, cheated, treated

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He made his point well; but he made it too often. And an attack of that kind, personal and savage in its nature, loses its effect when it is evident that the words have been prepared. A good deal may be done in dispute by calling a man an ass or a knave, but the resolve to use the words should have been made only at the moment, and they should come hot from the heart.

Anthony Trollope

— Ch. 33 (Phineas Redux (1874))

Tags: point, often, attack, kind, personal, savage, nature, loses, effect

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It was the kind of experience, Molly said, that would grow calluses on an angel’s ass.

robert charles wilson

— p. 204 (Spin (2005))

Tags: kind, experience, Molly, grow, calluses, angels

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All I gotta say about Elian is, thank God he's Cuban. 'Cause if he had been Haitian, you'd have never heard about his ass. If Elian Gonzalez was Elian Mumoombo from Haiti, they'd have pushed that little rubber tube back into the water. "Sorry, fella. All full."


— Dave Chappelle, Dave Chappelle: Killin' Them Softly (2000).

Tags: Elian, thank, God, Cuban, 'Cause, been, Haitian, never, heard

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Make the Moor thank me, love me and reward me, For making him egregiously an ass.

william shakespeare

— William Shakespeare, Othello (c. 1603), Act II, scene 1, line 317.

Tags: Moor, thank, me, love, reward, making, him, egregiously

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Patience! said the wolf to the ass.


— As quoted in Henry G. Bohn, A polyglot of foreign proverbs, (1857)

Tags: Patience, wolf

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But my thoughts ran a wool-gathering; and I did like the countryman, who looked for his ass while he was mounted on his back.

Miguel de Cervantes

— Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote (1605-15), Part II, Chapter LVII.

Tags: thoughts, ran, woolgathering, countryman, who, looked, while, mounted

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If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!

Kurt (Donald) Cobain

— Kurt Cobain, quoted in: Noel Botham (2007) The Best Book of Useless Information Ever, p. 33

Tags: illegal, rock, roll, throw, jail

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The Devil is an ass, I do acknowledge it.

Ben Jonson

— Ben Jonson, The Devil Is an Ass (performed 1616; published 1631), Act IV, scene 1

Tags: Devil, acknowledge

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Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift no heavy ass weights.

ronnie coleman

— Ronnie Coleman, Ronnie Coleman: The Unbelievable! (2005) (DVD)

Tags: Everybody, wants, nobody, lift, heavy, weights

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The Devil is an ass , I do acknowledge it.

Ben Jonson

— "Pug"; Act IV, scene 4.

Tags: Devil, acknowledge

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Will there never come a season Which shall rid us from the curse? Of a prose which knows no reason And an unmelodious verse: When the world shall cease to wonder At the genius of an ass, And a boy's eccentric blunder Shall not bring success to pass: When mankind shall be delivered From the clash of magazines, And the inkstand shall be shivered Into countless smithereens: When there stands a muzzled stripling, Mute, beside a muzzled bore: When the Rudyards cease from Kipling And the Haggards Ride no more.

james kenneth stephen

— To R. K.

Tags: there, never, season, rid, us, curse, prose, reason, unmelodious

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Kiss. My. ass.


— Who: Gunnery Sergeant Reynolds
— Notes: Said while he is being interrogated by Brutes. Not necessarily the character's last words, as he can be saved provided the player is quick enough.

Tags: Kiss

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