There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the entire works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the internet, we now know this isn't true.
I never got used to the way the house Trots fell into the jargon back in Grimsby I mean, on any other subject, like the death of the novel, or the sex life of the editor's secretary, they spoke ordinary English, but as soon as they started trying to get me to join the strike it was as if their brains had been taken out and replaced by one of those little golf-ball things you get in electric typewriters... "Betrayal"... "Confrontation"... "Management"... My God, you'd need a more supple language than that to describe an argument between two amoebas.tom stoppard
I rail against writers who talk about the loneliness of it all — what do they want, a crowd looking over their typewriters? Or those who talk about having to stare at a blank page — do they want someone to write on it?wilfrid sheed
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