Earth was once molten rock, and now it makes spaceships.
75 million years ago, Xenu was an evil galactic dictator who had some problem with billions of his people, so he loaded them into spaceships that looked exactly like DC-8s. Even worse, he charged them twenty-five dollars if they had extra luggage. Then, Xenu brought them here to Earth where he stacked their bodies around volcanoes, which he then blew up with Hydrogen bombs.
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