plumber quotes

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

-Woody pseudonym of  Allen Stewart Konigsberg Allen
  'My Philosophy', in the NewYorker, 27 Dec.

But you are dull, nothing comes nimbly from you; you dance like a plumber's daughter and deserve two thousand pound in lead to your marriage, and not in goldsmith's ware.

-Thomas Middleton
  A Chaste Maid in Cheapside (published1630), act1, sc.1.