Monkey Quotes
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The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey.
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More Monkey Quotes
The buzzard told the monkey "You're chokin' meRelease your hold and I'll set you free"The monkey looked the buzzard right dead in the eye and said"Your story's touching but it sounds like a lie."
nat "king" cole— "Straighten Up And Fly Right" (1937) written with Irving Mills.
It has taken us two million years to elevate politics from the level of a monkey squabble, to a level comprehensible to a six year old child.
peter j. carroll— p. 35 (PsyberMagick (1995))
But then, after all, we are all alike, for we are all derived from the monkey.
Albert Einstein— p. 110 (Einstein and the Poet (1983))
Year by year, the monkey's mask reveals the monkey
Matsuo Basho— c.1689 On Love and Barley: Haiku of Basho, no.3 (translated by Lucien Stryk).
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
— 1936 My TenYears in a Quandary.
I am not going to spend any time whatsoever attacking the Foreign Secretary.Quite honestly, I am beginning to feel extremely sorry for him. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.
Aneurin Bevan— 1957 Expressing his wish to address Prime Minister Harold Macmillan rather than Selwyn Lloyd on the Suez crisis in the House of Commons, May.
Were I (who to my loss already am One of those strange prodigious creatures, Man) A spirit, free to choose for my own share What case of flesh and blood I'd choose to wear, I'd be a dog, a monkey, or a bear.
Rochester, John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of— 1674 'A SatyrAgainst Mankind', l.1-5 (published1679).
Look at that little monkey run!
howard cosell— During the Halftime Highlights segment of Monday Night Football on September 24, 1973 when describing a 97-yard kickoff return by Washington Redskins player Herb Mul-Key against the St Louis Cardinals.
"They make me look like a stuffed monkey"
— Said about two postage stamps issued in 1911.
A monkey is a much better voter than a socialist. Statistically speaking, if we assume that there are two options to choose from: the "A" and the "B" - the monkey is voting randomly, so its wrong 50% of the time. The socialist, however - is always wrong.
janusz korwin-mikke— source: blog, 7 November 2008
Paleontologists do not have to search for famous "missing link" from which humans supposedly came, and current great apes. This link is simply the socialist - because he has both monkey genes.
janusz korwin-mikke— source: magazine Najwy?szy Czas!, 3 January 2008
She wants to sell my monkey!
mike lange— Quoted in Frank D, "Mike Langeisms," PensBurgh.com (2008-02-11)
The philosophic spirit of inquiry may be traced to brute curiosity, and that to the habit of examining all things in search of food. Artistic genius is an expansion of monkey imitativeness.
william winwood reade— "Liberty", p. 315
It is the simple truth that man does differ from the brutes in kind and not in degree; and the proof of it is here; that it sounds like a truism to say that the most primitive man drew a picture of a monkey and that it sounds like a joke to say that the most intelligent monkey drew a picture of a man. Something of division and disproportion has appeared; and it is unique. Art is the signature of man.
gilbert keith chesterton— Ch. 1: The Man in the Cave
Ghostwritten ’s secret agenda is to offer up eight different answers to the question, "Why do things happen?" so it has the right to monkey about with time and history . number9dreams ’s secret agenda is to offer eight different answers to the question, "In what space does the mind operate?"
david mitchell— Interview in Stop Smiling magazine (29 June 2007)
What right do we have to claim, as some might, that human beings are the only inhabitants of our planet blessed with an actual ability to be "aware"? … The impression of a "conscious presence" is indeed very strong with me when I look at a dog or a cat or, especially, when an ape or monkey at the zoo looks at me. I do not ask that they are "self-aware" in any strong sense (though I would guess that an element of self-awareness can be present). All I ask is that they sometimes simply feel !
roger penrose— Ch. 9, Real Brains and Model Brains, p. 383
The thing that has always disturbed me about O_DIRECT is that the whole interface is just stupid, and was probably designed by a deranged monkey on some serious mind-controlling substances. [*] [*] In other words, it's an Oracleism.
linus torvalds— Notes: from NOTES topic of open(2) manpage (2009-04-13).
Space. It seems to go on and on forever. Then you get to the end, and a monkey starts throwing barrels at you.
— Phillip Fry, Futurama
If a cartoonist wants to satirise Islam by drawing Mohammed, I’m on his side all the way. But among the 13,000 pictures on the EDMD Facebook page, you have Mohammed as a dog in a veil, Mohammed as a pig and Mohammed as a monkey. That’s not resistance, but picking a fight.
— Hugo Rifkind, Hugo (May 25, 2010). "This is a poor way to draw attention to intolerance". The Times (London).
The show is over. The monkey is dead . . .
— Who: Lady
— Source: Orpheus Descending by Tennessee Williams
[Guybrush: What happened!?] Went to get your hand... [coughs] [Guybrush: You didn't have to do that!] [coughs again] Had to pay you back for all the trouble... Found Jacques... He told me... [Guybrush: What?] He told me... [Guybrush: What? What did the monkey tell you?]
— Who: Morgan LeFlay
— Source: Tales of Monkey Island Chapter 4: The Trial and Execution of Guybrush Threepwood
— Notes: While on his way to enlarge La Esponja Grande, Guybrush finds the character mortally wounded by her own sword in her chest. She tells him that she tried to rescue his hand that had been infected by the Pox of LeChuck, when all of a sudden she found Jacques the Monkey warning her about something that is not revealed; when Guybrush asks her what Jacques was trying to say, she groans out something in his ear before she breathes her last, and after mourning her death, he mistakenly assumes that the Marquis De Singe killed her. It is later revealed in the final chapter, Rise of the Pirate God, that it was LeChuck, not De Singe, who committed the deed, and that the last words she was trying to whisper to Guybrush were: Don't trust LeChuck. He's hypnotized a bunch of monkeys, and ran me through with my own blade.
A girl fighting a monkey! Now I can finally die happy!... Oh.
— Who: Unnamed Alien soldier
— Source: It's walky!
— Note: The girl drops the monkey on him. And this monkey is huge.
A buzzard took the monkey for a ride in the air The monkey thought that everything was on the square The buzzard tried to throw the monkey off his back But the monkey grabbed his neck and said "Now listen, Jack..." "Straighten up and fly right Straighten up and fly right Straighten up and fly right Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."
— Nat King Cole, "Straighten Up And Fly Right" (1937) written with Irving Mills.
Instead of holding on to the Biblical view that we are made in the image of God, we come to realize that we are made in the image of the monkey...
lin yutang— The Importance of Living (1937) p. 36
Darwinian man though well behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved!
— Arthur Sullivan and libretto by W. S. Gilbert, Princess Ida (1884)
I confess freely to you, I could never look long upon a monkey, without very Mortifying Reflections.
william congreve— 1695 Letter to John Dennis,10 Jul.
And they brought an Owl, and a useful Cart, And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart, And a hive of silvery Bees. And they brought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws, And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws, and forty Bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree, And no end of Stilton Cheese.
Edward Lear— Nonsense Songs, Stories, Botany and Alphabets, "The Jumblies" (1871)
Were I, who to my Cost already am One of those strange, prodigious Creatures Man, A Spirit free, to choose for my own Share, What sort of Flesh and Blood I pleas’d to wear, I’d be a Dog, a monkey, or a Bear, Or any thing, but that vain Animal, Who is so proud of being Rational.
wilmot, john, 2nd earl of rochester— ll. 1-7. (A Satire Against Mankind (1679))
