You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one.Will RogersGood Gulf radio show (24 June 1934)
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.Will RogersAs quoted in You Must Remember This (1975) by Walter Wagner, p. 175
Ibet you if Ihad met himand had a chat with him,Iwould have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.Will Rogers1926 OnTrotsky. In the Saturday Evening Post, 6 Nov. US poet. Professor of English at the University of Washington from1948, he won a Pulitzer Prize for his collection TheWaking (1953).
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.Will Rogers1930 In the NewYorkTimes, 29 Apr.
I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else.Will RogersTheAutobiography ofWill Rogers (published1949), ch.1.
There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.Will RogersTheAutobiography ofWill Rogers (published1949), ch.6.
When a man goes in for politics over here, he has no time to labour, and any man that labours has no time to fool with politics.Over there, politics is an obligation; over here it's a business.Will RogersOn Britain electing a Labour government. The Autobiography of Will Rogers (published1949), ch.14.
A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.Will RogersSyndicated newspaper article rejecting the idea that he run for President of the United States (28 June 1931)
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.Will RogersSyndicated newspaper article (28 June 1931)
I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined, or hard to check, as a socially ambitious mother.Will RogersDaily Telegram #1808 to The New York Times, 11 May 1932
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.Will RogersAs quoted in The Image : A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America (1963) by Daniel Joseph Boorstein
We all can't be heroes, for someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.Will RogersAs quoted in The Complete Speaker's Index to Selected Stories for Every Occasion (1967) by Jacob Morton Braude, p. 16
Personally, I have always felt the best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter — he's got to just know.Will RogersAs quoted in Ether and me; or "Just relax." (1973)
This would be a great world to dance in if we didn't have to pay the fiddler.Will RogersAs quoted in Will Rogers (1974) by E. Paul Alworth, p. 50
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.Will RogersAs quoted in Land in America : Its Value, Use, and Control (1981) by Peter M. Wolf, p. 6
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?Will RogersAs quoted in Dreams Come Due : Government and Economics as If Freedom Mattered (1986) by John Galt, p. 235
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.Will RogersAs quoted in Creative Leadership : Mining the Gold in Your Workforce (1998) by A. S. Migs Damiani, p. 168
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.Will RogersAs quoted in The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations (1998) by Connie Robertson
I am not a member of any organized party — I am a Democrat.Will RogersCh. 9 "Rogers was a lifelong Democrat but he studiously avoided partisanship. He contributed to the Democratic campaign funds, but at the same time he frequently appeared on benefit programs to raise money for the Republican treasury. Republican leaders sought his counsel in their campaigns as often as did the Democrats." ~ P. J. O'Brien
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don't even have to exaggerate.Will RogersVariant: People often ask me, 'Will, where do you get your jokes?' I just tell 'em, 'Well, I watch the government and report the facts, that is all I do, and I don't even find it necessary to exaggerate.
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.Will Rogers1001 Best Things Ever Said About Horses, by Steven Price
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