My biggest regret? Not being knighted by the Queen. I should have been a knight, and I would have been knighted, if I hadn't written one horrible horrible Python sketch which I deeply deeply regret [ cue Python sketch: "Upper Class Twit of the Year" ]
From PBS series Monty Python's Personal Best: John Cleese's Personal Best (2006), playing role of senile old man.
I wish to complain about this parrot what I have purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.John Cleese
Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.John Cleese
I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.John Cleese
Six hundred years ago we would have been burned for this. Now, what I'm suggesting is that we've advanced.John Cleese
Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.John Cleese
He who laughs most, learns best.John Cleese
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.John Cleese
Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers which is why almost no technology ever works.John Cleese
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?John Cleese
When you get to my age, and I'm 66 now, you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much.John Cleese
Because these people are operating at a very very low level of mental health, they are incapable of understanding the teaching.John Cleese
Aping Urbanity, Oozing with Vanity Plump as a Manatee, Faking Humanity Journalistic Calamity, Intellectual Inanity Fox News Insanity, You're a profanity HannityJohn Cleese
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