Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.
"Let's Stop Somebody from Doing Something", Ballads for Broadbrows (1930)
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.A. P. Herbert
Nothing is wasted, nothing is in vain: The seas roll over but the rocks remain.A. P. Herbert
For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.A. P. Herbert
Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.A. P. Herbert
As my poor father used to say In 1863, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee!A. P. Herbert
Nobody's wrong but England – and England's always wrong, Too late – or else too early – too soft – or else too strong. And when for once the wide world begins to praise her name Her own sons crowd and hurry to shout her back to shame.A. P. Herbert
There's alcohol in plant and tree. It must be Nature's plan That there should be in fair degree Some alcohol in Man.A. P. Herbert
The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.A. P. Herbert
Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.A. P. Herbert
A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso .A. P. Herbert
A man who has made up his mind on a given subject twenty-five years ago and continues to hold his political opinions after he has been proved to be wrong is a man of principle; while he who from time to time adapts his opinions to the changing circumstances of life is an opportunist.A. P. Herbert
The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time.A. P. Herbert
"Was the cow crossed?" "No, your worship, it was an open cow."A. P. Herbert
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