Sometimes by using funny words to live by, you can make a point and entertain as well. Just like with a song, they can be enjoyable as well as educational. Here are some funny words that you can use to show people things in a different way, or point out something that they may not have been aware of. And you may just make them laugh, too.
Cause and Effect
These are sayings that start with an “if” and finish with something totally off-the-wall. They may not offer a real solution, but at least they offer a chuckle.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.
- If you’re not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
- If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- If you eat a live toad in the morning, then nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
- If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Never Do This
These are good things to remember never to do. Most of them are quite logical and all of them are funny.
- Never buy a car you can’t push.
- Never pet a burning dog.
- Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.
- Never eat yellow snow.
- Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Did You Ever Wonder??
These funny words to live by make you go, “Huh?” Sometimes, however, there is a spark of wisdom in the foolishness.
- What is another word for 'thesaurus'?
- The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet. --Ann Landers
- If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
- The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
- What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
- Is there another word for 'synonym'?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
Funny Words to Live By
These are some really funny words to live by that are in a class of their own. They cover many different situations and usually make a good point.
- Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
- Virtue is insufficient temptation. - George Bernard Shaw
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
- My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
- Cooking lesson #1: don’t fry bacon in the nude.
- Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
- When you eat a candy bar or have a wonderful dessert, have a diet drink. The calories are cancelled out by the diet drink.
The Wisdom of Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx was a brilliant comedian and had a philosophy all his own. But, as is true of many jokes and funny sayings, while you are laughing at them, you shake your head and say, “Yeah, that’s the way it is, alright.” Enjoy the following gems that show the genius of Groucho.
- I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
- Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
- The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
- Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.