Funny quotes about family will make you smile or laugh, and many times they have a bit of truth in them. Here are some quotes about families and their members for you to read and enjoy.
Family: Funny Quotes
Laughter is good for us. Whether we are laughing at ourselves, our families, or life in general, laughter can help us cope with life and stay positive.
Here are some funny quotes about family that will make you laugh, maybe out loud.
- Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts. - Unknown
- My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called “Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film”. - Penelope Lombard
- If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion. - Ashleigh Brilliant
- Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
- In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry'. - Margaret Laurence
- Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts. - Wayne H.
- Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. - Michael Levine
- A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash
Kids: Funny Quotes
There used to be a television show called, “Kids Say the Darndest Things”. It was hilarious. Hopefully, you will find these next quotes funny as well.
- Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller
- Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus
- Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby
- In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. - Erma Bombeck
- Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children. - Sam Levinson
- Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. - Jerry Seinfeld
- Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble. - Martin Mull
- The real menace in dealing with a five year old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five year old. - Jean Kerr
- Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop
Family Members: Funny Quotes
It has been proven that laughter boosts your immune system, oxygenates the blood, relaxes your muscles, and is similar to aerobic exercise. So let’s have a few laughs. Here are some more funny quotes about family members.
- A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning. - Unknown
- No one likes change but babies in diapers. - Barbara Johnson
- The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose. - Garrison Keillor
- I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
- Never let an angry sister comb your hair. - Patricia McCann
- Parents are not interested in justice; they're interested in peace and quiet. - Bill Cosby.
- There are two things that a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and its mother's age. - Benjamin Spock
- Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers. - Eugene Bertin
- Teenagers, are you tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills - while you still know everything. - John Hinde
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